A Needed Reminder

Have you ever had a day when one moment can change your whole outlook?  I had that kind of a day today.  I woke up feeling pretty good.  How can you not be happy dressing up for Halloween.  Got Tristan and Ethan off to seminary and Brian and I headed in a bit later.  I got to work and everything changed.  One conversation made me question who I am and what I am doing.  I don't know if I was on the "verge of sadness"  (that is what I call it when I can look into the deep abyss that I don't want to enter again), but I have had a hard time shaking my sadness all day.  It is like it is a blanket covering me.  I hate days like this.  Nothing gets accomplished.  I feel like I am walking around in a fog.  Once I am in this mood, it seems like I attract other conversations or experiences that cause me to question.  Am I a good mom?  Maybe I can't do this job.  Maybe my prayers weren't answered.  I am not good enough to work with the beautiful young women of my ward.  I am fat, I am ugly, I am stupid.  My house is a mess...a multitude of negative thoughts fill my head.
I am sure that my emotions have been affected by the weather and all of the sadness and devastation of the past few days.  But it has been a sad day none-the-less.
Lucky for me, I was on lds.org and found a mormon ad that reminded me that I AM a daughter of God!  I am of eternal worth.  I am blessed.  I am a MOM, a daughter, a sister, a friend...nothing else matters.  I don't care what people think of me.  I do care what God thinks of me...and I know that He loves me.  Tonight, that is enough.


Watch this link.  It reminded me of who I am.

Daughters of God

Multi-tasking Master

I don't know if many of you know, but I am an expert at multi-tasking.  In reality I think most women are.  I can talk on the phone and cook supper; help with homework and correct wrong notes on the piano (the piano is even downstairs--I know, you're impressed); every day my life if filled with too many things that need to get done, too many places to go to or get the kids to-so I have learned to adapt.
Well, last night was my crowning glory of multi-tasking.  I have just recently discovered the wonderful cleaning power of Norwex cloths.  I love them so much I have even become a consultant (call me if I've inspired you after reading this post!)  Norwex cloths clean, polish and disinfect using nothing put WATER!  The cloths have silver woven into them which is a natural antibacterial and cleaning agent.  Anyway...enough with the commercial.
Last night I was freezing(I am fighting a cold).  I just couldn't get warm.  Dan suggested a hot bath.  Now usually I'm not a fan of baths, but I was desperate.  I got into the bath and noticed how grungy the tub was...you must know what's coming!!!
Yep, you guessed it.  I called to Dan to get my green Norwex Enviro cloth and got to work.  These cloths are so wonderful, you can clean while enjoying a bath.  I hope you don't think differently of me, those of you that know me well, know that I am a little bit (okay, a lot a bit) weird, but what an accomplishment.  By the time I left the tub, it was shining!  The chrome was sparkling, it was dust free and the ring around the tub was gone; plus I was toasty warm!  It may be a little bit gross to think I was bathing in that...but that is the reason I don't bath that often in the first place. What do you think you are bathing in anyway...your own dirty water.  Don't mock me people...I have a clean tub and I am still a multi-tasking master!

In the midst of the multitudes, He knows me by name.

I just got home from attending the annual women's broadcast of my church.  It was filled with wonderful teaching and the spirit that attended the meeting was amazing.  I was once again struck with the knowledge that even though there are billions of God's children that are on the earth today and have been on the earth, He knows each of us individually.  He knows my name, He knows my pain, my sorrows, my trials, my grief.  He also knows my joys, my triumphs, my successes.  This was reinforced again today through the experience of a friend of mine.  It was such a powerful reminder to me of the compassion and the love that the Savior and our Heavenly Father has for each of us, I just had to share it.  I hope my friend doesn't mind.

As I sat down in the chapel, I "caught up" with a friend whom I hadn't chatted with for awhile.  I knew that her mother was in the hospital and wanted to see how she was doing.  She talked of her struggle with knowing that her mother would probably not come home to live with them again and that she was trying to come to terms with putting her mother in a lodge.  This sweet lady has had her sweet mother living in the basement suite of her home for a few years.  Her mother fell during a visit to Waterton on the September long weekend.  The fall was either caused by a stroke or caused the stroke that has now lead to this trial in her life.

The meeting started and I sat enjoying the speakers.  Their faith and testimony brought tears to my eyes many times as the shared council they felt we, as woman struggling to live Christ-like lives in the world today, needed to here.  My heart leaped when President Henry B. Erying, 2nd Councillor in the first Presidency of the Church stood and spoke of trials and the relief we can be to each other.  He then spoke of those who serve members of their family who are sick or otherwise afflicted and the struggle they can have to know when they need to hand over the care and service they have rendered to others more able to do that.  He spoke of how many times we feel the need to serve others, sometimes to our own detriment as we strive to do all that we can for those around us.  I watched the tears stream down my friends face and I knew that this wonderful man was answering the questions that were secretly asked in her heart.  As those closest too her hugged her and held her hand I thought to myself, I am witnessing a miracle.  God has chosen to answer someone's prayer through one of his servants.  There were many in the congregation that were touched by this great man's words.  But I was reminded once again, that God knows us.  He knows each one of us by name.  He answers prayers.  He knows what we need and what we are going through.  We just need to ask, to let Him in, and then watch for the miracle to take place.  Maybe the miracle is the good Samaritan who helps change a tire at the end of a week when everything seems to go wrong.  Maybe the miracle is we found a moment to laugh or cry with someone that understands the craziness of our week.  Maybe the miracle is that quiet moment when you sit and feel like a warm blanket has been draped over you and you know that you can carry on, that someone other than yourself is routing for you and has "got your back".

Now some of you sceptics may think  this whole experience was just a big coincidence and that President Erying wasn't speaking to answer my friends prayer, or calm her fears, or quiet her troubled soul.  You may think that it was a general topic that would appeal to many people there.  And you would be right about that, many of the people in the congregation would have been able to relate to the things he spoke of.  But I know, with all of my heart, that those words were of comfort to my friend and on some level were meant just for her.  And that was a reminder to me of how much I am loved by God.

Not just me, but you too!

Where Has The Time Gone?

On August 24 Dan and I will have been married for 21 years.  I was married when I was 21, so that means that I have been married as long as I was single.  I seem to celebrate or acknowledge different anniversaries.  We didn't really celebrate our 10th, but our 18th was an important one for me cause my Mom and Dad didn't make their 18th anniversary; 20th year came and went, but this one has caused me to reflect.  I don't know if everyone gets wedding jitters, but I had my doubts.  I thought that I loved Dan, but mostly I knew that he loved me and I didn't think anyone else would so that was good enough for me!  Over the last 21 years, I have learned what love is and what love does; and most of that I've learned from Dan.  I don't think that I am an expert, but let me share what I have learned with you.

1. Love is supportive
Dan has supported me through depression, bulimia, and low self-esteem.  He has supported my religious convictions, parenting styles, decorating schemes and he has even supported my recipe disasters!  I know that I can always count on him.

2. Love is kind
I don't think that Dan has ever said an unkind word to me (he may have thought it), but he has never said it.  I know that there have been times when I've made him mad, but he has NEVER done or said anything to me that was unkind.  He lives the motto: "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all".  Because of this, there have been moments when we haven't said anything to each other, but those have been few and far between and are quickly sorted out.

3.  Love is fun (and sometimes funny)
If you can't have fun with the one you love-what are you doing with that person?  We have fun together and have had some funny things happen to us.

4. Love is listening
I'm kind of a talker.  I especially get yappy late at night, when I am sure Dan has other things he would rather do (sleep mostly-get your mind out of the gutter!).  But he listens to me go on and on and on and on and on.  He doesn't even comment much-maybe he IS sleeping!  Can people sleep with their eyes open?

5.  Love sacrifices
Dan would do anything for me...well maybe, not anything, but pretty close.

6. Love is patient
I know it is surprising to find out, but I am probably not the easiest person to live with.  I am a little bit crazy, I don't know how to say "no" (Dan would say that I say "no" to HIM all the time) so I am always volunteering for stuff which means that Dan is voluntold for stuff.  And I have a lot of baggage that keeps popping up every once in a while.

All in all, I'm a pretty lucky gal.  On top of all of these great things he is the BEST house cleaner I know (lucky for me cause that is not something I like to do), he can fix or build anything and he can cook (only if you like BBQ and beans)!

I'm sure if he had a blog he would be raving about how wonderful I am, but he doesn't; unfortunately.

Whatever fears, doubts, or worries I had 21 years ago have faded.  What I didn't know about love then; I have learned and I am sure will continue to learn.  The last 21 years have brought us 3 children, 11 moves, 2 careers for Dan (still searching for a career for me), 3 dogs, numerous cats, 1 bearded dragon, assorted fish, frogs and 1 hamster.  We have lived in Vulcan, Coaldale, Fort St. John, Taylor, Mackenzie, Lethbridge and now in Lethbridge County.  I can't wait for the next 21 years.

      I still love my dress...I wonder if it still fits?  I wonder if it is still in the air tight box?

Maybe I should open it.

                                     We all look so young!  I can't believe it!

Whiplash and Weggies

We had a wonderful time in Salt Lake City with family this past week.  But we did have an incident at the water slides.  My idea of a good time at the water slides is a beach towel, book and dip in the water to cool off!  The whole idea is to let the boys run wild while I RELAX!  Alas, it was not to be.  Brian isn't as much of a daredevil as Ethan and there was one slide he refused to go on called "THE BOOMERANG".  (I have since learned that Brian is wise beyond his years)
"Come on, Mom.  Come with me."  Ethan calls.
"Sure, why not."
Ethan carries our two person tube up the stairs.  I should have been warned when I heard the disclaimer playing on the speakers, but it really wasn't loud and there were other moms waiting in line so surely I could handle it!
Let me tell you a bit about THE BOOMERANG.  It looks like one of those skateboard ramps that you skate down and then go up the other side.  But this one you sit in your tube.  You are told by the experienced lifeguard (who looks twelve and I'm sure would not be able to lift me if I were to be rendered unconscious on this ride) to keep your chin down and your bum up.  Is this some weird form of pilates I don't know about?  She informs us that the heavier person goes in the back.  Ethan looks at me smugly and says: "That would be you."
Into the tube I go, still thinking that this will be okay.  I tuck my chin in, squeeze my but up (no small feat!), and close my eyes tight!  (Do you think I really WANT to see this?)

The next thing I remember is my neck snapping back so hard that I actually HEAR the cracking sound.  I am sure I have been in an accident.  Where is my protective air bag?  But we are not done.  I feel my body whipping up the next part of THE BOOMERANG.  Snap of the neck again and back down.  Up, down, up, down...slowly coming to a stop in the centre;  where another twelve year old tells me to exit quickly.  Exit Quickly?  Does she not know that I have lost all ability to keep my head upright?  And that is when I realize my other problem...I dropped my bum!  My swimming suit is so firmly shoved up my butt that I am certain the jaws of life will be needed to retrieve it.  And there is Ethan standing there, waiting for me to climb out of the tube.  I take a few seconds to find my swimming suite because really, no one needs to see that! and then some how managed to get out of the tube.

Ethan grabs the tube and grins, "That was great!  Do you wanna go again?"

Are you kidding me?  I feel like an infant with a wobbly head and I can't walk in a straight line cause my equilibrium is still messed up.

For three days I had to support my head to lay down or get up; and what did my sensitive boys do?  They still call me "WHIPLASH MOM" and giggle every time we talk about it.  Really, I blame Dan.  If he had come to Utah with us, this never would have happened.  He would have gone on THE BOOMERANG and I would have laid on my beach towel, read my book and dipped when I got too hot!

Summer Time...I'm Bored

We are only in our second week and I already am seeing boredom in the eyes of my boys!  Well, not all of them...Just Brian!  Tristan has been busy with work.  He is lifeguarding at the YMCA (following in his mother's footsteps!)  He is really liking it!  Ethan has been busy with basketball, practising every day for the Alberta Summer Games.  But Brian is needing something to do.  Everything I suggest gets the roll of the eyes.  I want to go to Park Lake or Raymond Pool and no one wants to go with me.  I think I need to rent some kids 8-11 cause my kids don't want to do any summer fun stuff.  NO WONDER THEY ARE BORED!

I love my teens...but some days!

Have you every had a day when you blurt out to your teenager, while your on the phone with your hairdresser, in front of colleagues "I am going to kill you!"  No? Really?  Well that was my day today!  Shall I start from the beginning?  The whole thing took place in a matter of 1/2 hour, but the frustration lasts much longer.

It starts out as a typical day after school.  E walks to my school from his, and does his typical teenage annoying stuff, but it is all good hearted.  All three boys have haircuts after school, so T is going to drive them over there.  I ask E to wait outside as there is not very much time between after school and haircuts and there is not time to come in and find him.

E comes outside with the bell and gets frustrated for having to wait for T for 1 minute.  Before I can stop him, he starts walking across the street.  I am supervising school patrol and can not run after him, although I do start yelling at him-which he can't hear do to those FREAKING HEAD PHONES!  I also notice he does not have his backpack with his basketball stuff in it that he will need for after haircuts.

Do you see that it is quickly going from bad to worse?  I txt him and ask him where his backpack is and that he needs to get back here.  He txts me to send his backpack with B.  Meanwhile I am wondering where T is cause it is now 3:25 and he should be at the school by now.  I go to find B who hasn't showed up yet and T pulls up.  I send everything with T and send him off to go find E.

By this time I know that they will be late, and am a little frustrated, but am confident that they will be on there way.  Here comes the "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU" part.

I am in the library, on the phone and in walks who? With a smile on his face...all casual like he has all the time in the world?   You guessed it...E.  Here is the conversation as I can remember it

M:  I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!  Oh not you, (hairdresser), but my son.  I've got to go, call you later.  What are you doing here?!?!?!?
E: You told me to come back and get my backpack.
(why does he pick this exact minute to  listen and do what I say?)
M: Why did you leave?
E: I was looking for T.  Why didn't you stop me if you didn't want me to go?
M:  I DID, BUT YOU COULDN'T HEAR ME!!!
E:  That's cause I was listening to my music.
M:  (ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME???-that was my thought) Your kidding! we need to get going, you're going to be late.
E: Why did you tell me to wait outside if T was going to take so long?
(I don't even answer that one...I am afraid to open my mouth!)
E: Where's my backpack?
M: B
We are walking outside at this point to go find T and he asks me
E: Where's my runners?
M: I don't know, where did you put them.
E: In the van.
(Are you kidding me?  Can we not get things together?)
M: Go get the keys and get your shoes.
He walks away like he doesn't have a care in the world.  Meanwhile I am txt and phoning T; who won't answer of course because he's driving...stupid obeying son...I run over to the other side of the school and flag down T, go get E, grab the keys and go back to my meeting a little stunned and stressed.
The ladies who are so nice say...
"I'm glad I'm not the only one who says they want to kill their kids!"
Thank you friends who laughed at my frustration and to Dan who listened to me rant when I got home (even though he tried to escape and I had to tell him..."I'm not finished yet, sit down and listen to my day!")

E...I still love you and if it wasn't for you, what would I have blogged about today?

LOVE LIFE AND SEE GOOD DAYS!

In January I came across this phrase in 1Peter 3:10.  I didn't realize then how much it would impact my thoughts and outlook for 2012...you could say it has become my theme.  Shortly after that, I found a little book by Emily Freeman with the same title...coincidence?


We have all heard or told someone to "have a good day".  But think of the difference between these two sayings.  To me "have a good day" means that good things have to happen for me to have a good day.  So in this world of stress and disappointment, good days would be few and far between if circumstances dictated it.  But "see a good day" means ALL days can be good, I just need to change my perspective and look at my world and circumstances differently.  Seeing a good day often means looking at your life through God's grace and mercy.  If we look to see good days, we can see them in the midst of our hardships and trials, we can see good days in all our days.  


Let me give you a recent example in my life when I had to change my perceptive from "having a good day" to "seeing a good day".  
This past spring break it seemed like everyone I knew had gone somewhere on vacation.  I was jealous and grumbly and I am sure every time I spoke to Dan I complained about the fact that I was here and not in some exotic place.  How could I even have a good day in that situation.  When I realized what I was doing I quickly changed my attitude to try to see the good days of our spring vacation.  Here is what I saw; I was able to run at my favourite time of the day 3 times that week, I had the week off when many others were working, I was able to work in the yard because we had beautiful weather for most of the week, I was able to volunteer at the soup kitchen which I am never able to do because of work, I spent all afternoon one day engrossed in a book, and I spent some wonderful times with each of the boys.  Once I changed my perspective if could "SEE" how much I love life and I could see my good days.


This doesn't mean that my hardships and trials are gone.  I still have the stress that work, kids, marriage, family, obligations - all those other things we do every day - bring, but as I work to change my perspective I can follow Peter's council.


"For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile;"


To love life and see good days I need to stop complaining and comparing my life to others'.  


So this week don't "have a good day", that is not my wish for you, but "love life and see good days."

HE LIVES!

I have been pondering the wonderous gift the the Savior has given to each of us. I don't think that anyone can comprehend the enormity of the statement made by the angel at the empty tomb: "He is not here: for he is risen". What a wonderous gift he gave to each person who has lived on the earth-ETERNAL LIFE-given freely for us all. Because of His sacrifice, we ALL will live again.
Then he goes even further and offers us the blessing of living with Him and our Heavenly Father forever. But this gift is not given freely, for this great blessing, he asks for something in return. He asks us to follow Him, obey His commandments, and endure to the end. He asks us to forsake our sins and "come unto me". He knew that as mortal beings we would sin, but He loved us so much He took those sins upon Himself in Gethsemane and all we need to do is repent and forsake. Easy? Definately NOT.
I am a Mormon, because the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ help me to follow Him. Each day, each hour, each minute, I am grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ. I am grateful for His love and I try to live each day reflecting the love He has offered me. This Easter season, I pray that we will all pause to reflect on the wonderous gift He has given the world and your own personal relationship with the Savior.
I have been pondering the words of a favorite LDS hymn:

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,
Confused at the grace the so fully he proffers me.
I tremble to know that for me he was crucified,
That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.

Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me enough to die for me.
Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!

It is wonderful!

Sweet 16?

When a girl turns 16, you call it her "Sweet 16th". What do you call is when a boy turns 16? Whatever you call it, I just think "It can't be true! My little boy can't be 16 today!" But he is. It's times like these that moms (or maybe just me) turn a little nostalgic. I have been going through old photo albums tonight and I have learned 3 main things.
1. I need to redo my old scrapbooks-they are horrible!
2. I need to go through my mom's photos to find some pictures of me.
3. I have hardly any pictures of Dan when he was younger.

I did find a few gems on my stroll down memory lane that I thought I would share with you.

This is the only baby picture I have of Dan. At least I am assuming it is Dan. He is with his older sisters and brother, so I am pretty sure it is him. He isn't even a baby, but it's as good as I've got. Cute, isn't he?

Here is Tristan. He was 8 pounds 9 ounces and 21 1/2 inches long. He has grown up so much!

This is Tristan's grade 10 picture. How did he get so cute?

You'll never guess who this is. It's me! Yep, cloth diapers and all. Just as a note-Tristan had cloth diapers too. I thought I was being all environmentally friendly, but it didn't last long!

This is me at 16 or pretty close. Check out the phone! Do you remember rotary phones? Then you're old like me. Did you have a party line? So did we! That is how you knew what was going on in your neighborhood! Not that I ever listened in on someone else's conversation, that's just wrong:)

I remember turning 16. There were so many firsts. First car, first kiss, first date (the last two might have happened a little earlier; but don't tell Tristan). First time breaking curfew, first time grounded (of course those things didn't happen to me...those were Dan's firsts).

I'm sure there will be many firsts for me now that Tristan is 16. I am sure that I will have many sleepless nights and worries as he drives and dates, but I am so blessed because so far, he is a good kid. So he is "Sweet 16" to me!

I LOVE my Job!

Today's Ramble
I don't know how many of you know what an elementary librarian does, but some days can be pretty monotonous. Read to kids, shelf books, check in, check out, catalogue...day in and day out. But every once in awhile there is a little bright spot amidst all the sameness. Now, don't get me wrong, life in the library is pretty good. In fact, I'm a little bit of a celebrity to the preschool afternoon class. They LOVE me! But I digress...
Today was assembly day! On most assembly days, I skip the assembly and catch up on one of the never ending tasks of library work. But today, I went. And am I ever glad I did! After the usual awards we had a special cultural guest-Ben the New Zealand Dancer-as he will be forever known. I have a new appreciation for Fiji and New Zealand dancers. He was, well, ripped. He had muscles from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Actually, I don't really know if he had muscles on the top of his head or the tip of his toes (although I do know he was barefoot!) But he FOR SURE had muscles from his shoulders to his knees. How do I know this? Well traditional New Zealand dancers don't wear much except a wrap around their waist (because it is so hot there!). And of course, you have to wear the traditional dress when dancing the traditional dance! I am all for cultural sharing! If this keeps up, I might have to attend assemblies more often. I am sure more parents will attend if we were to invite him again!

Lucky me! We do have another cultural event planned-HOJA. They are a acapella musical group. There is nothing better than guys that sing in harmony. Unless of course they are New Zealand dancers that sing in harmony! Sweet dreams tonight.
P.S. Don`t worry, Dan. You may not be a New Zealand dancer or a singer-but...you could learn:)

Seasons of Life

Okay, I don't know how often I am going to get onto this blogging thing, but I will try to be regular.

This is my rambling today.

Last week we had a party at church and the theme was Seasons. We had speakers that spoke of the season they were in in their life. We had a newly married wife, a mother with young children at home and a retired "empty nester". None of them really fit into the season that I feel like I am in. I went home asking myself what season was I in? This is what I came up with...

I am in the TAXI season. That is what I do. I spend most of my waking day at work and the next biggest chuck of time in my car. Don't believe me? Lets take a look at March 20 (a typical day in the life of me).

6:00am alarm rings and up I get to wake Tristan up

6:40 am Take Tristan to seminary (back home 7:20)

7:30 am Leave home again with Brian and Ethan for school

3:30 pm school is done and we are on our way to Coaldale for a 4pm basketball game

5:30 home (supper at DQ)

6:10 gone again. Tristan needs to be in Lethbridge for Driver Training at 6:30 and I need to be in Coaldale for a church function at 6:30. (I was late)

9:30 Tristan needs to be picked up

See what I mean. On the road. Dan about had a heart attack when our 2008 van rolled 100,000km. Tristan took a picture on his phone and txted it to Dan to mark the occasion. Most days are like this, but that is the season I am in. The boys are busy doing good things. I am busy working and serving in my Church responsibilities. Dan is gone 3 weeks out of four. What's a girl to do? DRIVE

I know that one day I will beable to spend more time doing other things, but right now it is the season of TAXI DRIVER.

Hello Blogging World

Well, I thought that I would try out this world of blogging. It will be a new experience for me as I hardly even post anything on facebook. I mostly feel like I have nothing to share, but I am going to try it as an excercise to write. I love to write and journal, so this is my new goal as an extension of that. I suppose that I will mostly write about my family, so I will try not to embarress them, but I will not promise because they often do embarressing things! I will relieve myself of any guilt believing that no one will know what I blog, cause no one really cares what I say or will read my posts.

More to come, I will dig up some pictures and think hard to add some interesting tidbits to this blog, but for now it is 9:44 and I am going to turn into a pumpkin (or something worse) if I don't get my beauty sleep. It's not really beauty sleep-more like sleep that keeps me from turning into some creature that no one wants to meet. Ask my kids-they've met that creature once or twice and they insist now that I get my 8 hours!